In a child’s mind, Christmas is often synonymous with presents—lots and lots of presents. All the talk is, "What I want for Christmas is ____." They can't help wondering which presents are mine under the tree? and asking "How many more days till I can open them?"
We don’t want to diminish the joy of giving our children wonderful gifts at Christmas. Generous gift giving can be a means of teaching them about the generosity of our heavenly Father. But too many gifts can serve as a great challenge to the heart. My family and I have been far too prone to seek contentment in the earthly gifts we desire and receive. We need to cultivate contentment if we want our children to be happy in the only gift and treasure that will truly satisfy.
Scripture says,
Hebrews 13:5—Keep your life free from love of money [toys, games, gadgets, etc.], and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Luke 12:15—And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions [toys, games, gadgets, etc].”
Matthew 6:21—“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
Are we as parents and grandparents helping our children embrace these truths during the Christmas season? Or do the number and types of gifts we give feed an insatiable craving for more and better stuff?
Instead of overdoing the presents, we can spend the season preparing the soil of their hearts, planting the seeds of biblical truth, and praying for God to bring forth fruit. Here are a few suggestions:
1. Cultivate an atmosphere that reflects the true meaning of Christmas. Many Christian parents are already teaching their children that Jesus is the only means of true happiness and contentment. But we don’t always fully appreciate the pull of the world on our children’s hearts and minds. That’s why we must be diligent and consistent in pointing them toward the immeasurable treasure of Christ.
- Consider using a Christmas-themed or Advent devotional (such as Good News of Great Joy or The Mystery Hidden for Ages by Sally Michael, Why Christmas? by Barbara Reaoch, Prepare Him Room by Marty Machowski, or The Dawning of Indestructible Joy by John Piper).
- Fill your home with Christ-exalting carols and songs. Decorate with pictures and symbols that point to Christ’s birth and His redeeming work on the cross.
By continually holding forth the greatness and worth of Christ, worldly treasures may diminish in our children's eyes.
2. Cultivate a biblical view of possessions.
- Materials possessions are ultimately from God, belong to God, and are under God’s authority (1 Chronicles 29:12).
- God knows and graciously and generously provides for all of our needs (Matthew 6:8; 7:11).
- Possessions are temporary and cannot truly satisfy us (Matthew 6:19).
- The desire for possessions may become a dangerous snare (Luke 12:15; 1 Timothy 6:10).
- True, lasting contentment only comes through knowing, loving, trusting, and following Jesus (Philippians 3:8).
3. Cultivate wise gift giving. More is not always better for children (or for us), nor is expensive always best. Talk with your children about having realistic expectations. If necessary, consider “de-escalating” gift giving or emphasizing gifts that are relational. For example, give books or games that can be used together as a family. Give each child a special event night with mom or dad. These kind of gifts build memories that last far beyond the value of a toy or gadget. Plus, they cultivate a sense that our greatest treasure is itself relational—the treasure of knowing and loving Christ. You may also need to talk winsomely about this with grandparents and other relatives.
4. Cultivate an excitement for meaningful and generous giving. Use verses like (Acts 20:35, “…remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive,’” and “...God loves a cheerful giver” (2 Corinthians 9:7) to teach them about the joy of giving to others.
- Look into your church's mercy ministries. Is there a family gift project you could pursue to fill a specific need? (e.g., the Samaritan’s Purse Christmas Catalog)
- Use the time before Christmas for your children to do an inventory of their toys, games, and belongings. Encourage them to give a few of their gently used things to a ministry-based donation center.
- Encourage your children to give homemade or relational gifts. They could help Grandma clean her house, do extra chores for Mom for a week, etc.
5. Cultivate awareness of the comparison monster and the means to slay it. It’s amazing how often I find myself content with what I have until...I see something better that someone else has. Our children are prone to this same kind of covetousness. We need to help them recognize the comparison monster when it rises up, and put it to death.
- Remind them of all the unmerited goodness and generosity of God in their own lives.
- Talk about the importance of thankfulness. (See “Raising Thankful Children.”)
- Pray with them, asking for the Spirit’s help.
Want to go deeper? Use one or more of these discussion starters with your children:
- Read 1 Timothy 6:6-8 together. Ask, "Did you bring anything into the world when you were born? Can you take anything with you when you die? What does verse 8 say that we should be content with? Why is this hard for us? If you lived in a very poor country where many people were starving, would it be easier to be content with having food? Why? How can you have this same attitude without having to be in that situation?"
- Do you often compare what you have with what others have? Do you feel that you need what they have in order to be happy? When you feel this way, what are you saying about what you think will make you truly happy? Is God your heavenly Father? Do you trust Him to provide all that you need to be happy? Read Matthew 7:7-11 and ask, "What kinds of things do you ask God for? Why do you ask for these things? Do you believe that God wants to give you good gifts? Do you complain about the good things God has already given you? Why is it sometimes hard to be thankful? Is it because God is stingy? How could you focus on thankfulness to God this week?"
- Help your child make a “thank you” list to God for His many good gifts. Ask, "What should a list like this remind us of? When feelings of wanting more 'stuff' creep into your heart, do you think about how generous God has already been to you? Do you thank Him for life and breath and everything else? How could stopping to remember this list help you fight against feeling discontent with what you have?"
- Is God able to satisfy your every need? If He withholds something from you, is it because He isn’t able to provide you with these things? Why might God choose to withhold something from you? What better thing might God have for you?
- Read Philippians 4:12-13 together. What is the "secret" of being content? Why does Paul say that it is a secret? Are secrets easy things to find out? Can you be content through your own strength? On whose strength must you depend?
- What is your hardest struggle when you think of earthly treasures? What kinds of things “feed” this feeling? What do commercials, movies, books, and store advertisements tell you is worth “laying up”? How can you guard yourself from this?
- Have you ever received something that you were really happy and excited about? Did you feel as excited about it a week later? A month later? Two years later? Why not? What does this tell you about earthly treasures and the happiness they bring? Will this happen to heavenly treasures?
(These discussion ideas were adapted from the Truth78 curriculum, To Be Like Jesus: A Study for Children on Following Jesus.)
