This article was adapted from the webinar Family Worship and Discipleship with Shai and Blair Linne.
We both come from single-parent, non-Christian homes. And both of us were converted as adults. I think about Jesus saying that God can raise children for Abraham out of stones—that’s very much our story.
I'm so thankful that the Lord placed us in a healthy local church with many godly families. After we got engaged, we went on a tour of our church—where we basically invited ourselves into families' homes, saying, “We'll bring the food; we just want to sit at your feet and watch and ask questions.” Those families were so gracious to allow us in, and that was very eye-opening for both of us, being able to see models of fathers leading their families.
We realized early in our marriage that we didn’t need to wait for kids to start family worship. Blair and I—we’re a family. So at the dinner table, after dinner, we read Scripture, sang, and prayed when it was just the two of us. As the Lord blessed us with kids, each child came into an environment where that was the norm. They don’t know anything else. Our kids have no frame of reference outside of “this is what we do as a family.” And the Lord has been gracious to produce a lot of good fruit from that.
Family worship is a major part of the discipleship for us. Think about the life of a church where Sunday is the main gathering—the church gathered—and then Monday through Saturday is the church scattered. That's how we see family worship, it’s the main staple. It’s the time when we come together and we debrief over the Word, soak in the Word, spend time lifting up our gaze to the Lord as a family. It's a big part of a bigger picture for us.
Family discipleship happens as we go throughout the week. Deuteronomy 6:7 says, “You shall teach them diligently to your children. And you shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” Think about when you sit, when you walk, when you lie down, when you rise–there's a totality there. Obviously it's not that you're praying all day, literally, right? You can't get anything done if all you do is pray, but it's as you go. As we’re going on our way to basketball practice, having those kinds of conversations throughout the week, working with the kids on Scripture memorization and applying that to various situations in their lives–that’s along the way discipleship.
Parents often ask if there is a right time of day, right length of family worship, right amount of things to incorporate into it, or even a right pattern of how many days a week or days a month for family worship? That’s going to vary depending on a family's particular circumstances.
John Newton, author of the song Amazing Grace wrote about family worship in one of his letters. He says,
The circumstances of families are so various, that no determinate rules can be laid down: nor has the word of God prescribed any; because, being of universal obligation, it is wisely and graciously accommodated to suit the different situations of his people. You must, therefore, as to circumstantials, judge for yourself. You will do well to pursue such a method as you shall find most convenient to yourself and family, without scrupulously binding yourself, when the Scripture has left you free. (Letters of John Newton)
For us, it was all about the dinner table. But then our boys got to an age where basketball practice was happening in the evenings. It got to a point where it was rare for all of us to be at home at dinnertime. We started missing times of family worship. So we shifted it to the morning. There does need to be some flexibility there, depending on your situation.
We have a couple busy nights each week with practices, but on the other nights we’re all together for dinner, so right after we eat, we open the Word and work through the passage that will be preached on Sunday.
Shai reads the text, then we pray, read it again together, and start with a mini-review of the previous day. The kids answer questions, then we move forward into the next section. Shai will define difficult words. The aim is always to get to the gospel and to Jesus. Then we pray and sing. That’s the basic rhythm.
We’ve identified several hindrances to family worship. One is busyness, especially as kids get older—church, work, activities. Parents wonder, “How do we fit one more thing in?”
Another is a lack of models. Many people simply don’t know what it looks like or how to start.
And then there’s the paralysis of guilt. Most Christians agree it’s a good idea, but when they haven’t been doing it—especially if their kids are older or even resistant to the gospel—they feel, “It’s too late. Why start now?” But if there’s a voice telling you not to start reading the Bible, that’s not the Lord. His voice always leads toward His Word.
For anyone who feels they’re starting too late, God can redeem the time. Even if you have one year left before a child goes off to college, maximize that time. Seek to honor God with what you have. His Word never returns void—you don’t know how He may use this season.
One of the best things we can do as parents is repent to our children. Say, “I should have been leading us in this, and I haven’t. Will you forgive me? And we’re going to start now.” That kind of humility can be incredibly powerful.
Shai Linne is an author, Bible teacher and Christian hip-hop artist. Blair Linne is a spoken word artist, Bible teacher, and author. The Linnes lead the micro-conference The Family Worships.
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